you're a mystery yourself

Friday, February 27, 2009

9:41 PM

as per my new resolution to keep myself updated about what has happened in my life, and record everything before it slips away.. here goes nothing.

sli heh.
its our last one
quite a scary one
since i havent been noticing sli very much. i remember i was reading a book/ totally ignoring sli in sec one. and then sec two and sec three well.. maybe it was just the number of people i knew that were up there smiling, looking nervous, bobbing up and down on the stilettos, and wondering what have i could have done during my four years of rgs to make a difference or leave a legacy behind. strange how im so fortunate to be in a school rife and full to the brim of opportunities and yet... and yet... i feel as if i have not done enough, i have not reacherd my full potential or what i can really be. really strange thought. and really disconcerting im having them now, and not two years earlier or something.

oh well. rjc next year. its becoming more of a reality. travelling there by public transport, a new fresh reality, but will nevertheless become a chore after a few months. grah. and the bright green skirt. and i hope.. more camaderie, and chances to hold on to my friends in rgs. dont slip away through my fingers. we have to stay together, keep together. otherwise the memories would just fade away too.

lse today. again. its dominating my life.
printing the handbook. which wasnt supposed to be my job.
team dynamics are just really nonexistent. (note to self: be MORE OPTIMISTIC) sometimes, i just keep criticising, i lose control and lose track of myself, and that isnt supposed to happen. need to step back and take a breath. breatheeeee

oh yes... and the mentors' workshop. really fulfilling. what with COMPASS and DIE and whatnot. which are really helpful, but then again applying it to real life is a whole new different thing. theory and practical are two things so alike and yet diametrically different its hard to squash the two ideals together. like trying to squash the mentors' ideal team with what we have now, and to continually stay upbeat and encourage the team and myself to keep pushing forward. i really don't want to think about the trip. they are leaving next week friday. WITHOUT me and brenda. WITHOUT. i guess the reality hasnt hit yet. that i wont be able to see NTP. not again. or our hostel. or the ngu binh kids. or thuy bang. or facilitate my juniors. or see them grow, get frustrated, break through, solve their problems and come back with a smile on their faces and a whole lot more bonded then before. i ll be missing so much its hard to bear.

but i still hope i can be there for them when they need me. (i still cant believe ahhh). heart ache.

2moro really must go well. the team is cracking up like ground that is parched by the sun. so many loopholes, problems that arise when we are not in control of ourselves. instead the situation is in control of us. oh please. let them realise whatever we have been worrying about these past few weeks. we are not trying to bring you down with all these. we arent seriously. this is just for everyone to y'know trash things out. make things clear before we go on the trip. no.. the 14 of you go on the trip. by then you would have to live 24/7 with each other. and there will be so many things you will feel dissatisfied with. i wish them all the best.

and thanh.. dont stress too much. i see the lines on your face everytime i come. i know what you are worrying about. and im really really sorry i cant come and share your burden on the trip. thats the heaviest burden.

grahhhh

and chem and english and bio and physics. what am i doing online.
and my sis saw erh my diagram of the make reproductive system. in detail. hehh wonder what she was thinking

&the beauty.

Julia G Andres
RGS 104 06; 201 07; 314 08 and finally 414 09...
loves her family, friends, clarinet, band, having fun, watching dramas, chilling out, horseriding, eating ben and jerry's etc

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to truly become a Christian and be closer to Our Lord
quality time with family and friends!
for this year 2009 to be a fun and fulfilling one
to achieve everything i've set out to achieve this year

What's on your wish list this year? :D

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